When life is just about eat, sleep & playing with my netbook....it's kind of get on my nerves at times! I'm not used to be stuck within a small boundary, not used for not being able to walk around too much, not used to stay with so many strangers (from the time I was admitted into the hospital till present). But I'm trying to get used to it & hoping the nightmare will go away soon. Every day has to face endless checkings by nurses whether I still have spottings...have contractions...have to do CTG scans! Told & repeated by those doctors about the same problems I'm going to face over & over again. Instructed by those doctors to go for so many scans & blood tests until my hands are full of needle holes.
If I could turn back time, I wished I could have tried natural birth during my 1st pregnancy instead of during my 2nd pregnancy which was a total failure for me. Not to mention my 3rd pregnancy which is giving me so much problem now. Giving birth the natural way would be the greatest experience a mother could have, instead I gave up this opportunity to allow my superstitious to be of control over my own's child destiny. When I see those mothers in the ward who just came back after their "natural" experience, they did look tired but their energy level were back when they saw their babies immediately. They were able to be discharged the next day looking so energetic & lively...I was envious at that time coz I know I will never have a chance to be like them ever again. So I told myself, no matter what I will strongly encourage my daughter to have natural birth in future unless circumstances don't allow her to do that. The advantages of faster recovery for natural birth is so much better than ceasarian birth. As long as the babies are healthy, it doesn't matter when they are born and what they will become in the future. Destiny do not control their lives, they are in control of their own destiny! No matter what they have become in the future, they are still our beloved children forever.
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