Death Is Not Saying Goodbye

Parting with loved ones are unbearable, let alone death. Recently one of my mum's close friends lost her daughter after battling with cancer for more than a year. It was a shocking news to me when my mum told me about it that morning & I was stunned for a few seconds.

Seeing how her own daughter suffered during the chemo treatment & grew skinnier as days passed was quite painful already. It was a painful journey but they tried & hoped that miracle will happen. Even though miracle did not happen, they still try to be optimistic about it. Until when its time to say goodbye, her only daughter, an only child only looked at her & passed away peacefully in her arms. Auntie was still sad & depressed, probably that was why she called my mum for a chat sometimes. 

The only time I felt so lost & scared in my life was when YS had tonic seizure for the 1st time in his life on our way to the carpark. Hb was not with me at that time. Luckily I managed to catch hold of his body before he collapsed onto the floor. I remembered crying non-stop & called his name repeatedly hoping that he will wake up from his seizure. A kind neighbour who sat at the void deck every morning was so kind to help me.

That was the only time I felt totally helpless & worried when something bad happened to him. Thank god! He has no more relapse now after that incident.

Sometimes when I'm so sick of life, I bluntly told my mum "maybe I should just go and die" without thinking whether my words will break her heart or not. My mum will replied that "if you die, I do not want to live anymore". This got me thinking hard that I should not say these sort of things to hurt her feeling. She is the one who gave me life so whether life is bitter or sad, I should not think negatively. 

I could not imagine how I would react if the same thing happen to me.

All I know is life is short, try to treasure the time with our family as much as possible because we might never know what will happen tomorrow. We do not want to start to regret for not doing enough for the other person after he/she leaves this world. 

A reminder to myself that "Death is not saying goodbye, but to start a new life in another world!"